one of my roommates used to work with 5th graders in a creative writing class thing and they had to write a romance and most of the kids wrote stories about princesses and crap but this one little girl wrote about how a marshmallow fell in love with a mug of cocoa and he loved the cocoa so much that in order to be with her he melted and died like wow kid that’s some shakespearian shit right there
"but officer they were fucking with my clique"
- (via tittytittygangbang)
why couldn’t i be born with an older brother who is my best friend and has hot friends that flirt with me and drives me places like mcdonalds when im sad and punches rude boys in the face for me.
My brother once sat on me and farted until I passed out
my brother duct taped me to a treadmill and turned it to the highest setting once
when I was four my brother locked me in a ferret cage for an hour on Christmas Eve
- Maya Angelou (via larmoyante)
if you cant handle me at my worst then leave because i dont have a best im always awful
whenever i get low on money i start thinking really irrationally like what if i hadn’t spent that $10 back in 2004
Robin Sharma (via severs)
This hit me like a brick…